My Dog Rusty

My dog Rusty is insane. And a thief. A thieving, insane ninja dog that has a habit of sneaking his 90 pound body over mine during the night, so that when I wake up, his elbow is right on my bladder.

I got him for my 12th birthday and if I had been more observant, it would have been the worst-kept surprise ever. But I sat with my eyes closed at my party and my dad dropped a fluffy, wriggling ball into my lap and my life has never been the same. Unlike most golden retrievers at that age, he was a very dark red. Our eyes met and we laughed. I knew it was love at first sight.

Then he peed on the floor.

He proved to be a very smart dog. Within a week, I had him following me around, sitting, staying, shaking and speaking in four different barks, each of which projected a varying degree of excitement.

He gets the name Ninja Dog from his innate ability to steal anything from your hands. By the time you notice it, he is already scooting away on his belly to a corner to devour his prize. I usually double knot my shoelaces, but for some reason, I did not on this day. As I sat and watched TV, I noticed that Rusty had shuffled over next to me and had pressed right up against me with his head on my feet. Sure that this was no more than the love of a loyal companion, I let him stay where he was.

When Rusty is frustrated, he lets out a long hiss of air from his nose and this proved to be his giveaway. I shooed him away from my feet, where he had been for the last five minutes. My shoelaces were now untied and he was in the process of removing them completely from the shoe. He probably would have succeeded too, but one of the laces got caught and made a knot.

Another time, I had a bit of food in my fingers. I didn't notice Rusty slip behind the couch and it wasn't until I felt a gentle tug did I see dark red eyes peering up at me. Too surprised to say anything to him, I watched as he closed his lips around the bit of chicken and slowly pulled. The meat slipped from my fingers and still meeting my eyes with a guiltless smile, he backed into the kitchen.